Having 4 kids in 4 years has been absolute madness! Its chaotic, loud, messy, sometimes scary, fun, awesome and wonderful! I have learned that I capable of things I never could have imagined! There is so much that having 4 kids in 4 years has taught me. So much! But here is a list of just a few things that I realized pretty early on…
- Things will come out of my mouth that I never thought I would say. For example, “Stop putting boogers on your brother” or “Someone pooped, which one of you pooped?” and all kinds of other gross, absurd things come out of my mouth everyday. Honestly, I should start writing them down.
- Sleep Deprivation could not be used as a form of torture for me at this point. It’s just my life. OK, sure, there are a few nights a month I may get a good 5-6 straight hours but the majority of the time I rarely make it through more than an hour without being woken up by someone. At first it did feel like torture and when our daughter started kindergarten last year it was rough getting up early after getting such poor quality sleep. The boys all rarely get up at night these days but our daughter, the oldest, still gets up anywhere from 1 – 5 times a night. Ya know, to fix her blankets, change her PJ’s, she’s cold, or maybe hot, or thirsty, or hungry, or its too dark, or too bright… pretty much anything she can come up with.
- Never say no to help! After the birth of our twins and we came home with 4 kids under 4 years old, we took all the help we could. Fortunately for us, both sets of grandparents are local, and also get along so well they actually hang out together all the time. Crazy, right? Aunts, Uncles, friends, neighbors, if anyone is asking how they can help, tell them! Most would be happy to help out with chores or even errands and of course there’s always taking the older kids off your hands for while. That was the help I was looking for. Leave the newborn care for Mommy and Daddy. Help can look like many different things. It could be an older cousin to sit and play with the toddler age kids so you could possibly get some rest on the couch. I even had my daughter help with bottle feeding her baby twin brothers. She was 3 years old (2 1/2 months from turning 4) sitting next to me on the couch while we each fed a twin. It was so helpful to me and such a big moment for her.
- How helpful the kitchen timer can be Right around when the twins arrived we started to lose control of our cherished bedtime routine. Our bedtime routine that was the shining light of our chaotic days was slipping away, until….the kitchen timer! One night when arguing with the kids about bathtime, I said “Fine, I’ll give you 5 more minutes, I’m setting the timer, when you hear that beep your butts are in the tub!” And it worked. And then it worked for bedtime. I know one day it will stop working, I’m not even sure why it has worked so well for so long but 2 years later we still use that kitchen timer for the bigger kids for bath and bedtime. I swear, it has saved us from any and all bedtime drama, which any parent can agree is HUGE!
- Trust your intuition. This is a big one with me. As a parent your intuition is strong, no one knows your kids like you do. If your gut tells you something is not right, listen to it! There have been many moments over the last 7 years where my intuition has served me well, but the biggest for me was when we brought the twins home. After 9 days in the NICU they were thriving and doing fantastic, so they were sent home. The first 24 hours were great. Shortly after that, I noticed a difference in Lennon, it was subtle, but I knew something was up. I called the pediatrician, and it was a good thing I did. He was rushed back into the NICU, he had an infection that was swelling up and was getting close to cutting off his breathing. Probably the most terrifying time of my life, which I’m sure I will dedicate an entire post to soon. Point of the story, trust your intuition, listen to your gut and do not doubt yourself!
- Be ok with staying home. When our daughter was born, we took her everywhere! She hit every stop on the Jersey Shore, we went to zoos, aquariums, NYC, we took her to Madison Square Garden for a Rangers game! It was such a fun time. After our first son was born we still did a lot of stuff with 2 kids. But once the twins were born, it was clear things were going to be different. It is just so much more difficult to go out with 4 kids, especially 4 kids under 4, they all need so much! Plus, naptimes and schedules became way more important than they ever were. We managed to take a few fun excursions as a family of six during those early months with the twins. But, I had to be ok with the fact that the twins first couple of years would be so different than they were for our first 2 kids. We weren’t missing out, that was just what our family needed at that time.
- Let it go! I refuse to drive myself insane trying to keep our house spotless! Its clean and I try to stay as organized as I can but with 4 kids ages 2-6, yeah, basically impossible. As long as I can find everything and keep my sanity its alright with me.
- At all times, at least 1 child will be crying and most of the time it will more than 1 (once 1 twin starts…). This is just a fact. When there are 4 of them, at such young ages, I promise you, there will always be someone crying.
- Be realistic about your timing. If I need to be in the car with everyone at 2 o’clock then I better be getting ready to get out the door at least 30 minutes prior to that. 4 children who all need help putting their shoes on (and lets not even get into the winter months with hats, gloves, jackets, but then the jackets have to come off in the car because you can’t buckle them in with that jacket), walking out the door, down the steps and then buckling all 4 kids into their carseats. It takes a significant amount of time, which goes back to it being easier to stay home.
- Everything is temporary. This is something I have told myself a lot. Every moment, every phase is all temporary, nothing is permanent. That helps me during the rough moments or days that feel like they might never end. It also helps remind me to be present and enjoy these wonderfully messy years because, they too, are not permanent and will pass in the blink of an eye. The days may feel long but the years feel so short, its just the way it is.
I’m sure this list could go on! What are some things you Mommas have learned?? Comment below
