Tips for surviving your first 30 days of motherhood.

My tips for surviving and thriving through the first 30 days of postpartum recovery and newborn care.

I’m here to drop all the mom truths on you that I can, so here’s another one for ya…the first 3 months of your newborn’s life is really like the “4th trimester”. And those first 30 days of motherhood are unlike anything you’ve ever gone through before. The first month with our first born was possibly the hardest time of my life.

My whole point of starting this blog was to help someone else who may be going through or is about to go through a situation that I have been in. That’s why in this post I am going to share all the things that helped me survive this uncertain and exhausting phase! I had 4 kids in 4 years and each one taught me something new and I’m here to share it all with you.

A few important things to remember

1. That little infant is completely helpless and still depends on you just about as much as when they were in your belly.

2. On top of that you, yourself, are recovering. Whether it’s from labor and delivery or a c-section, it’s a really big deal and requires a lot of self care. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your newborn.

3. Your hormones are all sorts of crazy and you’re sleep deprived! It’s a lot and can get overwhelming real quick for anyone and everyone.

4. One more very important thing to remember is that all births are different, all infants are different and I feel very strongly that every family should do what works for them. Don’t ever compare you, your motherhood or your baby to anyone else!!

Each of my own 4 kids brought their own struggles. In this post I’ve included different things that helped with each of them during that newborn phase and all of my postpartum recoveries. Some may work for you, some may not.

Are you still working on your baby registry? Check out my post on what to add and what to skip on your Baby Registry

Tips for your first 30 days postpartum and newborn phase

Be patient with yourself and your baby

This is always going to be my first piece of advice to any new parent. This newborn phase is crazy and wonderful and terrifying and unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. And that is for all invlolved, including your newborn. So please, please be patient, grant you and your baby some grace. Let go of any expectations and just let it be what it is.

Use your time at the hospital wisely

Now, this is something I wish I had thought of with our first born. Things are different right now due to COVID-19, but while you are there use that staff of trained professionals!! Ask all the questions and use all their knowledge to your advantage. And let them give you time to rest and recover. Those maternity nurses would love to spend some time with your precious baby. I’m sure they will offer it anyway and DO NOT feel bad taking them up on it. Even if it’s just a couple of hours in between feedings or however long you need. Because once you leave the hospital you’re on your own. You will not have that staff of trained professionals at your beckon call. So, once again, use that time at the hospital wisely.

Once you’re home, keep the baby in your room at first.

Now, once you are home, it’s a good idea to keep the baby in the same room as you at night. I used a bassinet, similar to the one below, and then a double bassinet with our twins. Infants need to eat every couple of hours. So whether you’re breast feeding or bottle feeding, this is going to make things easier. You won’t have to go too far when it’s feeding time.

Also, it’s the best way to keep an eye on your little one. Making sure there are no changes or anything to be concerned with. I did a lot of watching them breathe, just to make sure they were still breathing (confession: I still do this sometimes!)

How long you keep them in your room is really up to you. I moved my first born into her room at around 2 months. My son, our second born, happen to be a very loud sleeper so I moved him into his room by 6 weeks. Some people keep them in their room until 3 months. That’s usually a good time, plus they start getting a little too big for the bassinet at that point.

Swaddlers

Swaddling is a big one for me when it comes to infants. It took me a little bit with our firstborn to realize how important this was. I couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t stay asleep long. Then I realized, it was those arms flailing around! They can’t move like that when they are in the womb. It’s helpful in those very early days to think about recreating the womb, that is what really soothes infants. Swaddling immediately made sense once I starting thinking like that, and as soon as I started doing it she was sleeping 8 hours through the night and eventually 12 hours! There are a few different options out there these days, you may have to try more than one to find the right one for your baby. Check out my picks with the links below.

Or these

Start picking up on cues Asap.

Like I’ve said before every baby is different but there are various cues that most baby will exhibit to let you know what they need. And the earlier you can figure out what they need the happier your little newborn will be.

Some hunger cues are

Lip smacking
Turning their heads into you, as if their looking for that boob.
Fingers in the mouth.
Also, in that first month you newborn will be hungry pretty much every 2 hours. I recommend feeding on demand.

Some sleepy cues

Rubbing their eyes
Pulling on ears or face
Yawning
also, in those first couple months your newborn will sleep up to 14,16 hours a day! But picking up on your infant’s cues early will help you create a nice nap schedule in the months to come. By 3 or 4 months they should be taking 2 long naps or 3 shorter naps.

Fill a diaper change caddy for your room and for your main living area

You may have set up their nursery from top to bottom but the truth is, those first few months you won’t be in there too much. To make things easier fill a diaper caddy (or a basket or bin, whatever) with all the essentials to keep in the places you’ll be spending the most of your time, your bedroom and you mainliving area.

You’ll definetely be thankful you have everything on hand for that first diaper blow out! It’s best to have everything you need right in arms reach. There are links below to some of my favorite things to keep in my diaper caddys.

More diapering tips

Another diapering tip from me to you is slide your new diaper underneath the one you are about to take off before you start. This way, when you open the dirty diaper you can wipe most of what’s there with the dirty diaper (saving you some wipes too).

Then you just roll up the dirty diaper, slip it out and your baby’s bum is right in the new clean diaper!

This is also comes in handy when they start peeing mid diaper change. I don’t know if its the cool air or what but infants have a habit of doing this. Use this trick and you’ll be prepared to quick pull up that new diaper and avoid getting peed on…most of the time.

Also, most onesies overlap at the shoulders (see picture below). This is to make them easy to remove by pulling down and off instead of over their head. This is especially important when there is a blow out. It will happen, poop will come out of their diaper and go right up their back. We don’t know how, but it absolutely happens. So instead of trying to get that onesie over their head without getting poop on them you can just slide it off.

most onsies, short and long sleeve, are like this.

Make space to have your pack ‘n play set up

If there is anyway you can make space to keep your pack n play up I highly recommend it. Most of them come with a changing area and bassinet on top. This way you have an easy place for diaper changes during the day and maybe can even use that bassinet for naptimes! And as they get a little bigger you can use it as a safe place for them to play, roll around, even work on pulling themselves up! The uses and benefits through the first year are endless! Check out my favorites with the links below.

This is the one I used for our twins and now use for our neice today.

Start a nighttime routine early

It may not seem important (or possible) early on but it sets you up for the future. Consistency is really important for happy babies. The more consistent you are, the more they know what to expect and what’s expected of them. Just a simple routine is all it takes. Of course, they are going to get up a bunch of times through the night in those early weeks/months. But as they grow and sleep longer stretches you will already have established what time is “bedtime”.

This is something that helped me tremendously. Having 4 kids under 4 was insanity. Every day was a chaotic mess. But I always knew, no matter how crazy our day was, by 6:30 pm it was bathtime, storytime and then bedtime. Every night. For everyone. I strongly believe that is what helped me keep my sanity, well, some of it anyway.

I am working on a blog post about our bedtime routines and how they have changed over the course of our children’s life.

Microwave steam bags – Get them

No matter what method you choose for feeding your baby one thing is for sure, there is going to be a whole bunch of stuff that will need to be sanitized on a regular basis. These bags make it super easy to do. Whether it’s bottle parts, breast pump parts, binkies, any of it can be sanitized with these bags. I highly recommend them! Use the link below to order some.

Nail files are better than clippers, at first

Infants notoriously have very sharp nails that they love to scratch their beautiful faces with. I strongly suggest using nail files as opposed to clippers. Their nails are so paper thin that the clippers really don’t work. Plus it’s terrifying trying to use a sharp tool on a squirmy infant who is most likely screaming crying while you try to clip them…at first. Once that baby is a few months old you’ll be completely comfortable holding them down to clip nails, inspect skin rashes and random bumps that pop up.

Also, be smart about when you decide to do this. If they happen to fall asleep on someone or in their swing (like they so often do) that’s a great time to do it.

Stock up on gas drops and gripe water before you need it

It’s a really good idea to already have these things on hand before you need them. There’s a chance you won’t need them at all. But gas or any stomach discomfort can create an extremely cranky baby. Trust me when I tell you, you’ll be glad you have these on hand if you need them. Of course if these don’t seem to help or your infant seems to be in pain call your pediatrician right away. As far as I know all Pediatricians have a 24 hr # you can call to talk to a nurse. Check with your Pediatrician early on to find out if they offer this or not. I used it plenty of times myself and always took comfort in the fact that I can call at any hour with any concern.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help in those first 30 days of motherhood and anytime after.

Never, ever be afraid to ask for help! There is a reason they say “it takes a village”. No one is meant to do this alone. So if you have family and friends that are offering help, TAKE IT! And ask for what you really need. Ask them to run an erand for you, or help with laundry, or help with the yard or around the house or even just to give you some time to yourself. I’ve found that most people would prefer for you to tell them what you really need.

Get a sling/baby carrier that you love

I recommend getting a wrap or sling for those early months. That baby is going to want to be held a lot. I wore my sling so much in the ealry months with my babies. Even in the house sometimes just so I could have free hands every once in a while to get things done. Here are my favorites, I won’t recommend anything I haven’t used or someone close to me has used.

My top favorite is from Seven Baby. They carry slings that go from newborn up to 35 lbs. I’ve used them for years. Easy to use, comfortable, easy to clean, I just love them! They also carry wraps and other carriers that are great!

One of our twins comfy in my seven sling.

The Boba wrap (below) is another favorite.

There is a great list on What To expect of the Best Baby Carriers Wraps 2021 worth checking out too.

Here’s my advice for YOUR postpartum recovery during your first 30 days of Motherhood

Get a big water bottle

Water is vital to your recovery. And even more important if you are breastfeeding. It’s necessary to help flush all the excess fluids your body needs to get rid off. I promise staying hydrating will do a lot toward making you feel better. Have at least one giant bottle or cup that you love and keep it full!

My Arbonne bottles are my favorite!

Disposable undies

Get yourself a pack of disposable undies before you get home. You won’t need them too long but it’s really nice to have them when you do need them.

Buy yourself a few pairs of undies a size or two bigger

It’s all about comfort at this point. A big soft comfy pair of undies will feel like a luxury!

Buy yourself a few pairs of yoga pants a size or two bigger

Again, comfort is the priority during this phase. You’re swollen, bloated, sore and still have plenty of baby weight. Loose comfy clothes will feel amazing.

Utilize grocery delivery

This is a no-brainer nowadays. Take your pick on where you want your delivery from, use your local supermarket, or instacart or, my current delivery favorite, Walmart. Even if you go into labor unexpectedly, you or your partner can manage to get an order in for when you get home.

Stock up on paper goods

Fuck doing dishes right now, like, seriously, fuck that!! Use disposable whenever you can. The last thing you want to worry about is a sink full of dirty dishes.

Take your recovery seriously

Caring for yourself after delivering is just as important as caring for your newborn. It’s very easy to forget that during your first 30 days of Motherhood.

If you delivered vaginally, get some ice packs ahead of time. Icing every couple of hours your first few days home will help tremendously with pain and recovery. Here is another post with info on recovery I like.

If you have a c-section please follow your doctor’s orders. My tips for you are, hold a pillow on your abdomen when you have to cough or laugh. And get stool softener. Pushing is not something you want to be doing after a c-section. Make it a little easier on your body with stool softener.

Be aware of all the red flags during your recovery.

Be sure to talk to your Dr about warning signs that something is wrong. If you aren’t really clear on when your should be concerned then ASK your Doctor.

Some bleeding is normal but if it’s heavy or accompanied by pain that could mean there is a problem.

If you had a c-section make sure you are properly caring for your incision. If at any point it starts feeling worse that could be a sign of a problem. Warm and red around the area or a fever could mean there is an infection.

These are just examples, please have a conversation with your Dr about what you need to watch for.

I really hope sharing some of what I learned through my experience can help you. If you have any questions about recommendations just leave them in the comments below.

Is there something that really helped you in your first 30 days of motherhood? Some advice that was priceless? Leave it in the comments below