Once it was confirmed that our twins would be starting preschool we became bombarded with the “split them up or keep them together” questions. We were officially entering our twins preschool years and the time had come to make a decision.
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Twins in preschool, split them up or keep them together
During the summer before the twins preschool started, I received a call from the school. They called to ask if I wanted them together or separated. At first I was surprised, but came to find out that, in our town at least, the decision is ultimately up to us as the parents. No matter what age or grade they are. And I like that. While I hope that all parents can hear out the recommendations of a professional about what is best for their child, I also believe that parents know their children best and the decision should be left to them. Especially at this young age.
We chose to keep our twins together
Here’s the why and how we came to our decision.
First, they are only 3. This preschool program our town offers is new. Our older 2 children went to a private preschool and it was only 2 days a week for a few hours. The preschool program our town now offers is full time, 5 days a week, 9-3.
That’s a huge difference to me. As a parent of a preschooler I was used to just a couple days a week, in a very small class. Now, my preschoolers would going every day for 6 hours and be taking a bus! I had no reason to think they wouldn’t adjust to this just fine but it was such a big change for me and for them.
I felt that keeping them together at this stage would be better for all of us. They would have the comfort of each other in this new place and I would take comfort in knowing there was something familiar in this unfamiliar place.
Another thing that also played a role in our decision making was that they will have 2 years of preschool before getting to kindergarten. If it turns out they may benefit from being separated, we had time. Knowing that we have time to see how they adjust definetly took some pressure off of us.
After the first 3 months of preschool
They have adjusted beautifully! But there have been some bumps in the road, of course. To read more about that, check out my post All 4 Kids in School Fulltime. But all in all they seem to be thriving in their preschool. And after only 3 months into it I have already noticed positive changes in both of them.
One of our twins didn’t talk quite as well as the other. But now, he comes home chatting up a storm about his day! And it’s much more understandable than before. He is learning how to communicate. And it’s not just that his language is clearer, he is learning how to put his thoughts into words. And I absolutely love hearing what he has to say!
They were both becoming a little picky with their eating. So I decided to do the school lunches for them. I place their order ahead of time and they eat in their classroom. Since I order it I can pick something they’ll like but there are always different sides that come with it. Both twins have started trying things they may not have if I offered it at home. For some reason that school setting makes them less picky and more adventurous with their food.
The obvious concerns with keeping twins in preschool together
Of course the obvious concerns do creep into my mind sometimes. Let’s be honest, as a parent we become plagued with doubts with every single decision we make for our children.
Sure, I worried that they may be too dependent on each other. Or that they won’t be able to find their individuality without being separated. Would they even talk or play with the other children? Would they cry if one twin was taken to another area of the classroom?
I couldn’t wait for an opportunity to observe them in class with my on eyes!
Then, American Education Week came. Parents were invited into the classrooms to spend 30 minutes observing their child’s class. This was great because I was able to get time in each of our kids’ classes. I loved seeing all of them and getting a glimpse into that part of their life that doesn’t involve me, it was awesome to see!! But, I was especially excited about a chance to see the twins in their class.
Observing our twins in preschool
What I observed filled me with pride and joy! They did not appear dependent on each other at all. As the children were directed to the table for an activity the twins followed along and just grabbed a seat at the table. They didn’t look to see where the other sat, they didn’t try to sit next to each other, they were just 2 kids in class picking a seat. I saw each of them laugh and talk to their classmates.
Then it was outside time. One twin was the line leader and the other the door holder, who ended up at the end of the line. They each did their job without being concerned with what his brother was doing. I was so happy to see them both acting so individually.
All the kids hurried to the playground. Next to the playground the teacher had also set up rings to jump through and balancing stepping stones. While one twin continued to play on the slides, the other twin ran to do the jumping and stepping stones. They did not follow each other. Neither was concerned with what the other was doing. I’ve always felt they were so different with different interests but seeing it play out like this was wonderful. I felt reassured that they may not need to be separated to find their individuality. As far I could see, our twins are perfectly comfortable doing their own thing.
I’m well aware that this could easily change at any stage.
The most I can do is stay involved. Keep up good communication with their teachers and other staff. Keep my focus on making sure they are thriving and growing; physically, emotionally and intellectually. If we can maintain all that as parents I feel confident in navigating this new world of twins and school.
If you have twins starting school I’d love to hear your opinion on the subject in the comments below. And I’m always happy to answer any questions for my fellow #twinparents out there.
